4 money tips for parents who have to care for their parents

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Taking care of two generations — your parents and your children — can mean major life changes for young families.

Forty-seven percent of adults in their 40s and 50s have a parent aged 65+ and are either have minor children or support their own grown kids, according to a 2013 Pew research report.

If you’re part of the ‘sandwich generation’ caught between these obligations, here’s some advice for you…

1. Consider a long-term care policy.

If you’re at least 50, you’re in the prime age to buy long-term care (LTC) insurance, a kind of policy that pays for care in a nursing home, assisted living facility, or your own home as you age.

Shopping for LTC insurance can be simplified by contacting an independent agent who can shop quotes from a variety of companies for you. The website of the American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance is a good starting point.

When shopping for LTC insurance, look for a lifetime benefit — or at least 5 years of coverage if that’s too costly. Also, be sure the policy adjusts for inflation so the benefit is not subpar when you need it.

Finally, you only want to consider companies that have been rated ‘A++’ (by A.M. Best), which means they are of the highest financial strength. Visit AMBest.com to search ratings. (Free registration is required.)

Read more: 5 scary facts about nursing home costs (and what to do about them)

2. Get a will in place.

If you have kids, you need a will for the simple fact that if you don’t have one, the state will decide who raises your kids should you die tomorrow. That’s the reality in the absence of any written direction from you.

Some people use the excuse that doing a will is too complicated and too expensive for them to undertake. I don’t buy that. It’s true that if you have a complicated life — maybe you own your own business or have a blended family — you do need to go see a lawyer who specializes in wills, estates and trusts.


However, if you have a relatively simple situation, I like the WillMaker software that you can pay to use through Nolo.com. They do a great job of asking interactive questions to guide you through the will completion process.

If you get confused along the way, stop and see a lawyer. Or push through and know that it is much cheaper to have a lawyer review the will you’ve self-prepared than to have them actually prepare one for you from scratch.

Read more: Cheapest and easiest ways to do a will

3. Get a durable power of attorney in place.

A durable power of attorney (DPA) is a document which allows your elderly parents (the principal) to authorize you (the ‘attorney-in-fact’) to make financial/legal decisions and to make financial transactions on their behalf.

There are advantages to having a lawyer draft a DPA. First, an attorney-drafted DPA can be drafted to meet your individual needs. Although there are pre-printed forms available, they are worded broadly and do not give you as much flexibility. Second, since DPAs are subject to abuse, it is a good idea to meet with an attorney to make sure both the principal and attorney-in-fact understand the document and the attorney is assured of the principal’s competency.

4. Protect your children’s identities

It’s an unfortunate fact that kids are targets for identity thieves. According to the Identity Theft Resource Center, kids are 51 times more likely to be subject to identity theft than an adult!

Equifax recently became the first credit bureau to allow parents to put a credit freeze on their child’s records in all 50 states! No word yet that either Experian or TransUnion have followed suit, but I’ll let you know when they do.

In the meantime, AllClearID.com is now offering a new free service called ChildScan. The service combs through credit records, employment records, criminal records and medical accounts to find out if a crook has been using your kid’s Social Security number. Visit AllClearID.com/Child for more details.

Crooks target kids because they’re ideal candidates for identity theft — no credit history, but a clean Social Security number. As a parent, you want to make sure nobody messes with your children. And the sooner you find out the better, because if it goes on for a decade or more, it can take years to clean up!

Read more: Protect your child from identity theft


For more money-saving info for parents, see our Life section.

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